Ever feel like you’re not from this planet? For as long as I can remember I felt like an outcast and completely unlike others around me. None of my childhood friends encountered supernatural phenomena, had a strong desire to spend time in cemeteries or held a higher sense of wisdom or could heal with their hands. Most of my friends feared me and would stop talking to me.
When I was a child, adults would come to me for healing. I was often asked to put hands on their ailing back and feet to take the pain away. As a child I had no idea why adults needed me so much. Grown folk would come to me for comfort as they cried over their sorrows. Not ever realizing that even at a young age I had many sorrows of my own. I was just 8 years old.
During the time I was conceived my parents were splitting up and my mother wanted an abortion. She drank and smoke during her pregnancy with me. But my God mother (RIP) told her that I was a blessing, convincing her to not have the abortion. I always felt alone in this world. Always needed by others, people are drawn to my light because they need to be healed. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if my life is even my own. Maybe like the prophet Jesus I am not here for myself but to serve a higher purpose. Being a healer can be a lonely and painful existence at times.
If you relate to any of this and are a healer I feel your pain. You are different and always will be. Learning to come to grips that you will never be like the others and will always suffer from the burdens of your calling. We can’t run from what we are. We were created with this gift for a reason. We are the messiahs of this generation. We are to give ourselves as a sacrifice for the higher good. Take a break, lick your wounds, refill your cup and keep on keeping.
Agape 🖤
Memoirs of a Goddess 